This is the story of the miracle that happened on our cruise and changed our lives.
T.j. and I just got back from our cruise just yesterday. We have had this cruise booked since last January. It popped up on my facebook "packers legends cruise", T.j. has been a packers fan since childhood, and I knew it would be a memorable vacation. We had it booked in under an hour. Every email update was so exciting. We'd never been on a cruise or a week long vacation. We later ended up adding an excursion that was a private 4 hour beach party with select players, a buffet, and beach Olympics. This boosted our excitement x 100.
In August hurricane Harvey hit and though we didn't get any flood damage the financial cost of the long term missed work was immense. For months following Harvey we couldn't help but wonder if this cruise was a horrible financial decision. Then the flow of bad things one after another started coming (infestations, major car issues, a dozen medical specialists, injuries etc.). More and more money was going out and the stress and weight of it all was more than we could handle. I even had a mental breakdown in the middle of it all. Things just got seriously bad. After awhile I somehow found myself clinging closer to God and no longer finding my comfort in things going right but just simply trusting Gods plan, even as things continued to go wrong.
Suddenly things started happening around the cruise. Money being sent just when we needed it out of no where. God's provisions seemed to surround this vacation. We began to realize God was blessing this cruise, he was showing us it was meant to happen and had a purpose. We clung to that as it drew near.
Finally the cruise arrived and everything went off without a hitch. When we arrived we received an itinerary of specifically packer events for the week. Every morning at 8am was listed "chapel with players", we had no idea what it was and there was no description. The first full day we went to this event. One of the founders of Leadership League, the organization that started the NFL team cruises, got up and began to explain what was going on. He started by informing us Leadership League was started to spread the love of God! We were both shocked, we had no idea this was a christian company. He then continued to tell us every morning would start with praise and worship and devotional time. T.j. and I were both pleasantly surprised and excited. We went to service the following day as well.
So far the trip was great. Well on the second full day we stopped in Costa Maya and we got off and shopped then came back for a nap. At around 5:30 I woke up and started to get dressed to go have my quiet time when T.J. suddenly woke up panicked and ran to the bathroom and started vomiting like crazy as well as other things. I start freaking out and asking him "what should I do? should I go tell someone?" (remember this is our first cruise). We decided I should go ask at guest services. I go ask and they send me to medical who promptly directs me to bring him down. I didn't think much of it and did what they asked.
T.J. and I arrive in medical. They ask a bunch of questions and give him a shot. T.j. started feeling sick again and went into the bathroom. While in the bathroom the nurse informs me he will have to stay quarantined in his room for the next 24 hours. I immediately start sobbing.
You see our private beach party is the following day, it's non refundable, cost us $600, and was the main thing we were looking forward to. I'm panicking because when he comes out of the bathroom I have to tell him this. See T.J. comes from not only a family of serious pessimists but he takes bad things happening very very hard. He has also had so so much bad happen to him and therefore tends to push away and go inward when bad things happen. Because of this I dread telling him bad things. So he comes out and sees me crying and I have to tell him. His entire posture just sinks. When the nurse leaves the room he just looks down and asks "Why is this happening to us? We've been going to church everyday. Who else goes to church on their vacations?".
We get escorted back to our room, with security. Once there I now have to go beg Leadership league to refund us somehow. Our ticket clearly states even if the event is canceled there will be no refund. So I start heading down to their desk. I'm just sobbing the whole time. What am I going to do? Will T.J. be okay? What's going to happen? I just want to call my mom. I walk up and there are 5 staff members standing around. I'm crying so hard I can barely talk. I finally explain the situation, along with a ton pf word vomit and unnecessary information. They quickly agreed to a refund and even offer to add us to one of the private dinners with a player! Crisis #1 averted. I go back up to the room and tell T.J.. I leave for dinner and he went to sleep.
For hours all I can do is cry and try and figure out how to keep T.J. from retreating into a hole and pushing everyone including God away after our vacation is ruined like this. But somehow deep inside I still believed God had blessed this trip, I don't know why or how, but I knew there had to be a reason. The next morning T.j. was still sleeping and I decided to go to chapel alone. I was almost twenty minutes late but I still went. When I arrived there was a huge crowed of ship staff and medical and people all over were crying. Apparently one of the Leadership league staff had an epileptic seizure. After they wheeled her away they continued with the service, because of this I didn't miss anything. All through the service I'm just trying not to cry. The devotional was on a prophet (I can't remember who) who got out of prison and got straight onto a boat to go somewhere to continue to spread God's word. On the way there is a storm and the ships wrecks on Malta. He then goes to start a fire to warm everyone and gets bit by a snake. After all this he ends up healing the entire island of illness through God's power. The moral of the story was All these bad things happened even though he was following God's will and then all the bad ended up being a part of God's plan to heal these people.
After the service I was still paralyzed by the whole situation. They ended in prayer and I couldn't even lift my head. I just started sobbing. See anytime something bad happens to us I tend to take on the role of making sure to remind T.j. that God's in control even when bad things happen. I stay positive for both of us. But this time I just didn't know if it would be enough, I didn't know if this was the final straw. I was at a complete loss of what to pray. So I just stated pleading with God to send someone, anyone to come talk to me, to help me, or to just give me a hug. I just kept saying it over and over "please send someone to me". First a older couple came over and just started praying, when they finished the man walked away and the women briefly talked to me and then left. I didn't feel any better so I just kept sobbing.
Shortly after, the main host, and one of the founders came over. His name is Antwaan Randle El and he used to play for the Stealers. He asked me what was wrong and I very briefly explained the situation. Money was tight, things had been bad for awhile, he was sick, we would miss our event, and I didn't know how to spiritually help him. He asked where he was and then asked if he could come pray for us. I left to go ask T.J. and Antwaan called and spoke to him. T.j. said it was okay and a few minutes later he knocked on our door.
When I opened to door the man who did the previous days devotional was with him. His name is Greg Hendrix and he is the associate pastor of the rock church in San Diego. We all introduced ourselves and shook hands and then we all stood up, laid hands on each other, and Antwaan began to pray.
Antwaan prayed for the situation and for healing and then stopped. Greg started the same but then something switched, He started saying very specific things. He said he felt like T.j. worked in construction of some sort. He said he felt God was telling him to pray for very specific things. He then prayed specifically for T.j.'s back pain and his stomach issues. He also prayed for resentment and anger T.J. was holding on to. He prayed for me and then he ended.
I'm sobbing again. You see I never spoke to Greg at all, I also never told anyone about T.j.s job (he's a plumber and does new construction). In addition to that T.J. has had severe back pain for years, so bad so that he can't hold the kids for very long at all without putting them down because he's in pain. He has also had debilitating stomach issues for years that we have been dealing with. I never mentioned this to anyway. I explain this to both Greg and Antwaan. He asked if T.j.'s back still hurt and he told us "when I was sitting it was hurting and now it's not at all". We kept reassuring T.j. that I never mentioned any of this and I never spoke to Greg. We said our goodbyes and they left. We had other bad things happen that day but we kept coming back to that moment.
In that moment in that tiny ship cabin God spoke to us, directly to us. All the fear, loneliness, anger, it all just vanished. I have absolutely no doubt the entire cruise was meant for that on moment. T.j. got sick for that moment. We missed an event we had been waiting for for almost a year for that moment. T.j. had back pain for that moment. Guess what? ALL of it was worth it for that moment. For what that moment meant, for what it did for us, and for what I know it will do for others through this story and through what we do with how it's changed us. We will never have something bad happen to us again without remembering that moment and knowing God uses every situation for good. Just like the devotional that I heard only moments before all this happened. Sometimes bad things happen for powerful life changing reasons.
We left for our cruise needing rest and a break from all the bad over the last year. We expected fun and memories. What we got was sickness and despair that led to a moment in the presence of our heavenly father. An intricately planned string of events to bring us to a meeting with him. A meeting where he showed us that he IS constantly chasing after us, that he IS madly in love with us, and that he NEVER ignores us. He is always planning, he knows what he is doing at all times. Even when all we know what to pray is just for someone to come to comfort us when we just need a hug. In that moment when I pleaded for a hug I not only got one but I felt the embrace of a heavenly hug ya'll. I can't even explain that feeling.
Guys never stop praying for your situation. Never stop praying for your spouses situation. No matter what know God loves you even whenever EVERYTHING continues to go wrong over and over. You are not being punished, you are within his plan and his plan is full of love. Just hold on, and seek him. Seek him with everything you have, even when it seems like you have nothing to give, keep seeking him and you will find him.
I pray I was able to articulate this story to whoever finds it. I pray someone who has or is or will be in a situation like my family has been in the last few years of what feels like bad thing after another, will read this and have hope. That you feel comfort. That your faith that God has a plan and one day it will reveal itself will be strengthened.
P.S. T.j. still has not experienced any back pain as of today, a pain that has been daily for years, and we trust that God has healed it for good.
